Bad feminist
I have a confession to make, “I am a bad feminist.” I have accepted this truth about myself. I am a feminist married to a macho man. He is bearded, blue eyes, tall and well built. He is my eye candy, I love and honor him. I know, I said ‘honor.’ Did I already confess as a bad feminist? We live in a world where there’s constant pressure to fit into a mold made by people who have never lived in my skin nor experienced life through my eyes. To tell you the truth, I want nothing to do with the perceived view of feminism in our society.
I believe in equal human treatment. A man is not better than a woman just because he is a man. No race of human beings is better than the other. We are different. Cats are better than dogs. Cupcakes are better than muffins. If I do the same job as a man, pay me the same unless he did a better job in which case you will need to prove it.
I am Nigerian born, Belizean and American raised. You would be amazed to see the world through my eyes. I like to think it is a bit more holistic than some. I am dumb in a lot of areas so feel free to correct me. Your cultural background will inform your viewpoints, and I have three.
“Your cultural background will inform your viewpoints.”
Recently, I have collected some ‘interesting’ views from my married friends. I have collected the subtle idea that marriage is expendable because well, ‘I have my own money.’ I have noticed husbands getting dissed, disrespected and dismissed by educated wives. It is a mistake. So, allow me to butt-in as a friend. That money will not make divorce less painful and traumatic. It will not make a happy home. Money has no feelings and the last time I checked it gives no hugs. I guess you can always buy hugs. You deserve respect but so does he. Standing up for what you believe and how you feel does not mean the heel of your feet should crush the man. I suck at it; it is a daily decision to be me while letting my man be a man. Be careful not to destroy the person you married in a bid to defend your ‘feminism.’ Take it from me, a girl who has had my life ripped by divorce ‘submissive’ ‘doormat’ ‘manipulative’ does not work. I have tried it. Marriage is not for wimps.
“Marriage is not for wimps.”
xo,
Shalom
