Eavesdrop prayer

“I don’t want to be a matured person with you anymore.” This is how I began my conversation with God this morning. Confession, I am terrified of sharing this moment with you because well, I don’t want to be naked to your eyes. I feel the Spirit of Jesus urging me to recklessness, so shaking in my boots here I go. I invite you to pray my prayer, cry my tears before God, He is waiting for you.

Shalom to God…

I don’t want to be a matured person with you God. What does that even mean? I just want to be your child! I want to be taken care of by you. I am tired, my body hurts, and I am cramping. I can not hold it together anymore. Tell me what to do, and I will do it. I don’t want to figure it out anymore. Is that what maturity is because I don’t want it. I want to remain just a child with you, Jesus. I know that’s going to be hard because my childhood was rough. How much harder can it be to remain a child with you than it is right now? I already don’t know where am going, what I am doing or what the future holds. Funny, but I think I am already just a child and now realizing it! Ok, I accept it, God. I am a child, totally dependent on you.

If you don’t take care of me, I will suffer and die…

If you don’t accept me, I will die from the inside out…

If you don’t provide, I will starve and die…

If you don’t touch me, I will be in agony and die too…

If you don’t lead me, I will fall into a pit…

But you do care for me, I live.

You accept me; I am loved

You provide for me; I am sustained.

You touch me, I thrive.

You lead me, I am found.

I accept your care and love dear Jesus. I am your child, and you are my Father and Mother dear Lord. You are my caretaker and friend. Everything I need is with you. You give, and I have life.

Thank you, sweet Jesus, for letting me know that I am already held in your arms a child. Amen

 

xo,

Shalom Child of God